The Geese came by today.....

Written 12/21/14

I woke up this morning to a warm 36 degrees and fog. As I stepped outside it didn't feel like December in Minnesota, with Christmas only four days away. And then I heard the geese. I couldn't see them but I could hear them, for the longest time, honking to each other, communicating I imagine, as families do this time of year as they get together to celebrate the holiday season. And suddenly I was overcome with a wave of emotion I have not felt in some time.

My grandmother loved the sound of the geese flying over in the fall months. She was born in CT, raised in CA, but moved to NE after meeting and marrying my grandfather. I can't imagine the culture shock that must have been for her in the '40's. I've heard lots of stories, for instance going from always having indoor plumbing to having her own outhouse and pumping water to boil for a warm bath. (I will never take running water for granted, I promise!) And having to hang a side of beef in the attic for the winter, so there would be meat to eat (and so the animals wouldn't get at it!!) Holy crap! Refrigerator/freezer, have I told you lately that I love you!!

As I stood on the back step, and listened to the geese, tears fell down my face, big crocodile tears, I couldn't control them. I believe in signs. I believe that our loved ones that have left us come back in ways to let us know they are still around, protecting us, loving us. And I will take this gaggle of geese as a sign that my Grandma Penny stopped by to say hello today, 

I still miss you, everyday. I miss you kind words to and about everyone, they way you bustled around the house baking bread and doing housework. I remember you calling grandpa "daddy" and how you two would sit at the bar for breakfast or lunch, and you would rub his back. You would sing songs that you remember you mother singing, old Irish songs sometimes, and then would tell a story. I wish I had written them down. 

I strive to be kind and loving as I remember you being, and I work hard to be strong and overcoming of obstacles as I know you had to do. And mornings like this, when in am sure you stopped by, I slip on your sweater and feel your arms around me and for a moment feel safe and loved.